He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
