"it" just moved
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
