girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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