i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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