Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You've changed since you got that strap on
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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