no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
