i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
