He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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