he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
