do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i now understand why vodka
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
