you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
