she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
