just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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