considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
