He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
