I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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