Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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