How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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