That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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