Will you blow on my dice?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
