Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
