Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
