pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
