ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
splinters make it hard to masturbate
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
