The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
