Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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