I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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