what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
