my soul wont recognize me after tonight
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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