I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
