He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
