At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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