dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
