I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
