You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
