How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
