I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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