I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Let's paint friendship bongs
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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