Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
