More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
