Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
