I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
