is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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