you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
