thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
