my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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