It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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