I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
did you just send me my own nude
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