Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
