Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
