I'm so fucking centered right now
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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