his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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