Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
