Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
