Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
