Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
