This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
