I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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