Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
