I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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