I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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