My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
