that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
