people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
