Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
