I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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