His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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