Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The uberlube is also flammable
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
