I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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