I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
