On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
