I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize
