Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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